Overcoming fear and living a life without regret requires a change in thinking and looking at the world with the lens of truth. Sadly, we’ve been conditioned to believe that talent and greatness is something we’re born with or born into — but that is simply not true and I hope to give you a dose of reality to inspire you to pursue your best life.
Overcoming Fear | Live without Regret
When I first created this site, Pivot or Die, I had a vague notion of what it would be. I had a lot of struggles over the past decade and I genuinely felt as though I wanted to share some of my experiences in the hope that it would help others avoid the same mistakes I made. But more than that, I wanted to provide a voice to others who were going through difficult times because I know that in my darkest moments what I needed most was to know that somebody understood me without judging me.
Lately I’ve busy with other things but in my mind I keep returning to this site and trying to figure out a focus and how I want to approach it. Ultimately, this is a very personal thing. But what I’ve realized is that Pivot or Die will be a variety of things but everything I discuss will stem from my own experiences, passions, accomplishments and failures.
I simply want to make this an extension of who I am and share with you what is happening in my life. Hopefully people find this interesting enough to follow me and read my thoughts. I don’t really know how it will unfold but this preamble leads into something that I feel strongly about — finding the courage to live your best life and how to overcome fear along the way.
Am I Good Enough? | Overcoming Fear & Regret
One of my major pursuits at the moment is my desire to become a writer and director — to make my own films. I’m 46 at the moment so common sense does not indicate that this is something I should pursue and yet I decided a few months ago that I would take my passion for film and pursue it wholeheartedly. It’s something that I know I must do because it’s been gnawing at me ever since I was a kid filming with my friends wrestling in our backyards and acting out skits in our living rooms.
Sometimes in life you find yourself at the crossroad between regret and fear, and far too often we choose fear. I know that if I don’t start making my own films I will regret it deeply before I die, and so it’s no longer a choice. It’s something I know I must explore and see where that exploration takes me. I don’t need all the answers before beginning, and let me tell you, it’s daunting to pursue something that you want so badly. The questions ultimately paralyze us : Am I good enough? Can I do it? Do I have the talent?
Thankfully, I’ve learned to ignore the fear and tune into the passion and decide upon what I want in the long-run. I always take the cosmic view now. Look down at yourself far above earth and see how small you are compared to the scope of our universe. Realize that all of these fears that seem insurmountable are fragments of fiction that our mind conjures up based on what society has been telling us throughout our lives. If you live your life based on your fear and insecurity then you will probably awake one day with a lifetime of regret.
Choose the end goal and simply figure out what you must do to get there — and simply take action on those steps that will ultimately take you to where you want to go.
Too many people start with what they already know when deciding on the direction of their lives. Because of this, their goals are always limited by what they know, and what they know is far from what is possible. If you start with the end in mind then you’re propelled forward and forced to step out of your limited knowledge. Learning and acquiring new skills is an integral part of redefining yourself and your external life.
When it comes to making major changes in your life you need to expect feelings of fear to arise so you can override them with your intellect. Embrace fear as a sign that you are stepping outside of your comfort zone — which is to be expected during times of change.
It’s important to know the distinction between rational fear and irrational fear. If you’re walking down the street and violence breaks out in a crowd, then it’s best to go somewhere safe and call the police. In cases where your survival is threatened it makes sense to listen to your fear for your own personal safety. That’s an evolutionary response to fear. Humans are naturally afraid of snakes and for good reason. They can kill you. Running from a snake is a sign of intelligence.
On the other hand, your fear of being judged or failing to accomplish a goal or desire is rooted in your imagination and your cultural conditioning. Their is no threat to your survival in these cases. Your conditioned beliefs about failure are imagined. Somehow we got the false idea that we should be exceptional at everything we do right from the beginning. It’s a stifling way to live your life. If you’ve never played piano then where does the idea come from that you should be good right away?
Culturally, we look around and see success. We turn on the TV and everyone is beautiful, rich, talented and articulate. We go on Facebook and see all our virtual friends with perfect lives and who are seemingly always happy and accomplishing great things. We read novels that are perfectly written, and hear musicians play music without screwing up.
We are bombarded with stories that only show the end result of somebody’s journey. This is the most significant source of our false beliefs that some people are born to do this thing or the other thing, and that we are limited because we don’t have the talent or ability to accomplish certain goals. We attribute success in any field to an inherent gift from birth — and it’s complete nonsense.
Behind all great accomplishments reside stories of sacrifice and struggle and disappointment — but you don’t hear the backstory behind the success of others and so the reality of accomplishing something meaningful is not factored into your thinking. So many people go through life with a limited view of what it takes to take an idea and bring to fruition. It’s hard work that requires perseverance and time. Once you understand that there is no such thing as an overnight success you will hopefully adopt the long-view into your expectations.
NOTE : Article is still a work in progress. Please be patient while I continue refining this article. It’s not perfect, but with editing and perseverance it will become better and hopefully something that readers will gain value you from. And if not, I will ensure that the next article is better. Repetition of any act will ensure you progress and move you toward developing your talent.