Today has been a difficult day and I’ve been feeling lost, upset, sad and confused, wondering how to deal with the circumstances I find myself in. I know I’m not alone in feeling this way. It’s a common place we find ourselves in at various points in our lives. Well, today has been that day for me and I’ve been trying to figure out what to do. I knew I had to do something to make sense of it all, which is why I’m writing here on my site; the first time in about a year.
I feel the need to express what I feel, and although I know that nobody is reading this now, I do have a dream that someday this site will become a meaningful resource for people who stumble upon it. Time will prove me right or wrong.How do you handle those moments in your life when you feel overwhelmed?
Alright, let’s step back for a moment. Life is getting me down today. Why?
Over these past 3 months my puppy has been having issues walking after doing exercise. It’s been a slow and gradual decline that I’ve had to watch up close. It began on May 19th, 2018 when my puppy laid down immediately after leaving the dog park. It may not seem like a big deal but it was the first time he was unable to walk all the way home. I knew something was wrong when it occurred for several days in a row. I told a friend that’s it was strange behavior and I knew something was wrong.
After many visits to the vet, a blood test, an early neutering (thinking it was prostatitis), 2 different sets of X-rays, CT scans of his hips and knees, taking fluid from his knees — and 3 months later, it turns out he has bad hips. I’ve cried a lot of tears lately thinking about all the possibilities without knowing all the facts. I would look at my puppy and cry, even though he looked perfectly content. I was thinking about what was coming. Would he ever be a normal dog living a normal life? or would I have to spend my days managing his pain? This is not what I had in mind when I adopted a dog. I didn’t expect things to turn out this way.
It turns out he needs a double hip replacement to ever have a chance to be a normal dog. The road to recovery for this is a long one, about a year. Only one hip at a time can be operated on. The first month or so after surgery he needs to basically be locked so he can heal, only being taken out for bathroom breaks. One month is a very long time to have a puppy locked up for, especially a breed like mine — a sheepadoodle; a mix of poodle and sheepdog. All he wants to do is run and play. And then there’s the risk of things going wrong.
It’s been a hard day, and a challenging 3 months leading up to this and it seemed like the road ahead was going to be even harder.
On top of that, I have had a medical issue that I’ve been managing for the past year and I reached a point where I have to go ahead with the surgery. I no longer had a choice to put it off so I made the decision to book the surgery and get it done so I can move on with my life and be healthy enough to take care of my dog, Albee, after his surgery.
And my surgery won’t be fun either. I’d dreading it knowing it will take weeks to fully recover, I’ll be on pain killers, and then I’ll have to go through withdrawal from painkillers, which is hell.
Today was a horrible day and I’ve been trying to figure out how I’m going to get through it.
If I remain present and just deal with today, and what’s in front of me, it’s easier. If start taking actions to prepare, it’s easier. for example, I contacted a dog walker as I won’t be very mobile for the first few days. I won’t have the capacity to take care of my dog, and sadly he won’t be able to walk himself or take care of me. Dogs are great until you need help getting something done. It’s a good thing they’re cute. I guess nature knows what its doing.
Breaking down each challenge in bite size pieces is essential when you are faced with difficult circumstances. Reaching out to friends and family is another important component. Having a healthy support system is critical. Let people know you need help and there’s a good chance they will be supportive and be happy to help.